Screen

 This is a very short story I wrote last week. I didn’t intend for it to be so creepy but sometimes that just happens.

photo (59)

Screen

We fell in love when I was nineteen / And now we’re staring at a screen 

-Arcade Fire, Reflektor

 They say that the world was built for two / Only worth living if somebody is loving you

-Lana Del Rey, Video Games

I open the door with a clink of keys and he’s hunched in front of the TV, broad shoulders caving over the controller. All the lights are off. It smells musty in our apartment and I think the Mexican family next door is cooking tamales.

“Hey,” he says. Something explodes on screen in perfect time with his greeting.

I wait for his blue eyes to flick towards me – they don’t. He doesn’t see the bright red Rorschach splotch across my white t-shirt or hear the squeak of the blood that is pooling in the bottoms of my sneakers as I limp behind him to the kitchen.

The sink is full of drying dishes and I think back to his studio apartment when we were dating and how there were never any dirty dishes left lying around. It’s a habit I appreciate. His silver wedding band is still in the cupcake-shaped dish by the soap bottle.

“My husband does all the dishes and laundry without me asking,” I’d told my coworker, Renee, that morning. She was impressed like I had wanted her to be. Now I am not sure if I can make words come out of my mouth if I try and there are bloody footprints across the yellowed linoleum floor. Though it feels like giving up, I sink to the floor and sit against a cabinet.

It might be my imagination, but I swear I can feel a tiny dot of metallic coldness deep in my gut. Blood gushing around it hot and quick. It is a tiny stone in a swirling, steaming river. Is the kitchen full of fog? My eyelids are so heavy but they won’t close because of the adrenaline, still buzzing like a dying light bulb in my veins.

“I was shot,” I say in my mind, but it can’t be real and the words won’t come. The sloppy, scowling man on Madison Street was just a character from a TV show. The swift motion of his hand to his pocket was just a slice of action before a commercial break. Bullets whizz with a tinny “ping-ping” on my husband’s video game and despite myself, I smile. He is winning his war. Why bother him? I close my eyes and stop thinking about why he doesn’t look at me anymore.

Advertisements

Gluten-Free Breakfast in Bed Chocolate Chip Pancakes

photo (58)

I have been on a trial-and-error quest to create the perfect pancakes for both Zach and me (meaning, gluten-free). My mom makes a mean almond flour pancake, but I can never get it to cooperate with me, and though I’ve tried multiple paleo pancake recipes, none of them tasted naughty enough. Enter a good old-fashioned blend of highly refined gluten-free flours.

This recipe is perfect: tender but not gummy, fluffy, and flavorful. And I was able to successfully cook them in a nonstick pan on our electric stovetop – not an easy feat.

Wake up a little early and make them for someone you love.

Gluten-Free Breakfast in Bed Chocolate Chip Pancakes

  • 1 cup rice flour
  • 3 tablespoons tapioca flour
  • 1/3 cup potato starch
  • 1/4 cup coconut flour
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum
  • 2 tablespoons of vinegar + enough milk to make 2 cups
  • 2 tablespoons maple syrup
  • 2 eggs
  • 3 tablespoons sunflower oil

Whisk dry ingredients together in a large bowl. Stir in wet ingredients until smooth and slightly thickened.

Heat a skillet or griddle over medium-high heat. Spray with pan spray and scoop batter by 1/3 cup portions onto hot skillet. Press a few chocolate chips into each pancake as it cooks.

Flip pancakes after 1-2 minutes, or until edges are firm, undersides golden, and the bubbles on top have popped. Fry 1-2 minutes on other side.Keep in a 250 F oven until all pancakes are done. Serve hot with butter and maple syrup and in your underwear.

Halloween + Harry Potter Party

DSC_0228Bellatrix (me), Dobby, and Professor Trelawney

I know everyone seems to have already moved on to Thanksgiving, if not Christmas, but I like to take the holidays at a slower pace and I’m still fondly reminiscing about the Halloween party we threw at our apartment this year. It was also a Harry Potter themed birthday party for a dear friend so everyone dressed up as their favorite Potter character. I was blown away by everyone’s creativity and dedication. Yes, we are all over the age of twenty.

DSC_0233Zach as Dumbledore

DSC_0226

Some friends made their own wands, which was way beyond anything I would have attempted.

DSC_0220

I did, however, help with the butterbeer.

DSC_0219

We served veggies, chips, and chili dogs. Fancy!

DSC_0218

 Oh, and mac n cheese. I apologize for the grossness of this picture.

DSC_0206

 Fortunately, we had our own Harry.

DSC_0204

 And a Remus and Mad-Eye.

DSC_0203

 Oh and Ron and Hermione. We didn’t have any character repeats, fortunately!

DSC_0209

DSC_0210

 I made a red velvet cake and gluten-free pumpkin spice cupcakes.

Ah….now I’m ready for the upcoming holidays.

The Struggle is Real

So, a little more than a week in and I’ve lost around…1 lb. Somewhat discouraging. I’m going to stick with this exact plan for another week and if progress continues to drag its feet I’m planning on adding in running one mile a day and a day of intermittent fasting.

Eats. 

I’ve cooked and eaten some delicious and healthy food this week. A couple highlights:

IMG_4591

Mac n cheese with bacon, collards, and leeks. I used Trader Joe’s brown rice pasta, which is the best GF pasta I’ve found and so affordable. This spur-of-the-moment flavor combo was super tasty.

IMG_4593

Steel-cut oats with chopped pear and toasted (oops burnt) pecans. Ignore the yellowed early morning lighting…this was the breakfast of champions.  Overall, the eating has been easier and more delicious than I first imagined. Yay!

Let’s talk about…

Cheats. 

I’ve missed one day of yoga practice so far and was unable to make EITHER Zumba class due to my schedule. Uh-oh.

 I was in Chicago for a weekend yoga instructor training (more on in a later post) and I ate some chocolate and Garrett’s caramel corn. Not in egregious amounts (two servings of corn and probably seven-ish pieces of chocolate over the weekend) and I did walk and do yoga a lot, but if my weight isn’t cooperating the cheats must end.

However, I was proud of how well I stuck to my guns this weekend eating-wise despite eating mostly at restaurants. A number of Chipotle salads + burrito bowls were consumed…

IMG_4604

I had a weird and gross continental breakfast, but bought some apples, almonds, and plain Greek yogurt at Trader Joe’s for the next morning, which hit the spot.

IMG_4601

IMG_4608

We also ate a P.F. Chang’s, Corner Bakery, and FoodLife in The Watertower Place…very easy to eat healthy at all those places. Also very easy to eat TJ and Fannie May chocolate and buttery delicious caramel corn. Ehem. Onward and upward!